. . . . . entries for 4.6.13 . . . . .
Most of my dreams (the sleeping kind, not the staying up nights kind) are useless or worse to my instantly interpreting brain, but last night I had a relatively useful dream. The dream so totally revolted me as to be straightforward, easy to read.
Now I just need to know what to do with it.
. . . . . entries for 17.5.13 . . . . .
The best way to live as your best self?
. . . . . entries for 16.5.13 . . . . .
Running with crowds: not a strong skill of mine, unless I set the tone, and I never try to - it just happens sometimes.
. . . . . entries for 25.4.13 . . . . .
In the mornings I sometimes get bored of listening to classical music or my handful of CDs and turn to another station. The stuff I end up sticking with tends to be Christian rock and talk radio, not because I'm ultra Christian, but because it's totally fascinating. Today I ended up on one such station and I learned more in that hour or so (long drive in today) than, well, than generally happens.
. . . . . entries for 23.4.13 . . . . .
I am so tired and so bothered. Too bothered to be tired. Sick of reading. Want to write. Sick of talking about it. Want to do something. Sick of keeping rules. Want to chase happiness.
Well holy shit, my archive links don't work anymore! The posts still exist but you'd have a hard time getting to them.
Question: Is this good or bad? Do I really want people reading shit from 2009 or whatever? Hm.
EDIT: No, it looks like they work sometimes. Well, all right. You figure it out.
Along with the never-not-weird, a never-not-true: You most want to break out of routine when you most need to live within it, or even constrain oneself more tightly, focus more, devote, specialize, work. Life inside a music box ain't easy.
You know how sometimes, if you have friends who blog but you don't blog much, you read their blogs and find stuff about you there that they clearly never anticipated you'd read?
It's never not weird!
. . . . . entries for 12.4.13 . . . . .
Also, oh my gosh, the last time I blogged was the day I got engaged. That's hilarious. It was also a super long time ago. My sister is getting married next week! And then I guess I'm getting married sometime, but not until after I move in with The Pod! And I got a cat, too, and my cat is great, but I bet you're my facebook friend so you already know all about the cat.
She's asleep now, on a blue chair in my apartment, with her little face scrunched into her little kitty wrist.
And it's been hot this week, and night fell with cold breezes, and they were just right. Just right.
. . . . . entries for 11.4.13 . . . . .
"But wait - if it just comes back -"
"Don't say it isn't worth it - because it is."
Even for a little while, people can sleep in their beds without being afraid. That kind of time is worth anything.
Don't say it isn't worth it. Your words that day, Yuna - I remember them well.
Hi blog. It's been a while, and this is an awful sappy thing to post as a reintroduction, but I guess it shows that the more things change, the more things stay the same!
That line always gets me, is all. It's probably no good that Yuna is my favorite role model out of the whole Final Fantasy heroine set. So innocent and so martyr-complex'd, so totally unreal - I could choose better. But there it is anyway. And then stuff like this happens, too, and, well. The game is just bad for me.
I think when I was on Society Rails (i.e., in school), my "I'm totally gonna go far" inclinations pointed me toward Yuna: toward a determined, self-sacrificing, principled, thoughtful march into the gates of Hell for a heavenly cause. But the most wonderful thing about Yuna isn't really that she's willing to do that (although it is wonderful) - it's that, when someone tells her it's not good enough, when someone she loves decides he wants everything and not just what's normal or seems reasonable, she has the incredible courage to turn against every rule, ritual, and religious precept under which she has lived to uphold the principle itself, the love itself, the bravery itself, the selflessness itself. Who in this world can say they've done that?
How do I do that?
come home?
.:people:.
{ting}
she looks like the real thing
{mari}
out and about
[kelsey]
THIS IS AMERICA
{yianni}
stop being depressed
{alisa}
other
[shannon]
close and far
{frank}
islands where no islands should go
[cassie]
eating knowledge
{colin}
my dm
[emily]
shoulder to the wheel
[brian]
nostalgic for fantasy
[nicole]
industry insider
{elle}
angry enviro
[matt]
never heard of miyazaki
[pirate dan]
are you reading this?
[olga]
distracted
[messiah dan]
messiah/believer
{max}
approach focus
[natalie]
wait a minute
[susan]
solitude
{greg}
manbeargreg
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.:skin:.
turtles! turtles! by araglas
(heavily modified by yours truly)