. . . . . entries for 31.3.05 . . . . .
Just got back from the debate banquet, and it is nine at night. I have a hell of a lot of work to do. The banquet was fun, even if I was an outcast for a while. xD I also talked with our superintendant - gasp! I think he likes me, which is good. Yes. . . it is good to have friends in high places.
Zomg, Cassie, this boy is amazing. :XD Yaaay! I encourage you all to observe this and marvel at the cuteness. (Sorry if I wasn't supposed to do this, Cas/Bill 2. I am aww'd by this muchly.)
. . . . . entries for 30.3.05 . . . . .
Red dress = found. Yay.
Grr, I cannot find my Blast from the Past dress - and by this, I mean the red one I intend Susan to wear. Grrr. Where the hell could it be?
Ah, the thing which was supposed to happen *did* happen, and I was right about what it was. xD Visit Katelyn the way-too-adorable's blog for more on that. ::throws rice around:: And there was much rejoicing!
Today was a weird day, in some ways. o.O I can feel spring creeping into my surroundings, in the temperature and in the figurative pollen which is circulating. Spring seems like a very strange this thing. I got the impression, somehow, that winter would never end, or perhaps cede directly into the unbearable ninety degree days of summer. But today was around 55; pleasantly warm, it seemed. Weird.
I wonder how the weather is in Venice. It's around nine at night in Venice right now. (I have been making calculations like this for a few days running. What a loser I am. xD)
Debate banquet tomorrow evening, during which we all shall be nerdy. Huzzah. This evening I may get in touch with the Natalie and the Shannon and go swimming at the pool - but this would require that I do my homework beforehand, which is not an attractive thought, I fear. I don't really have that much to do, I just. . . don't want to do it. At all. My dad asked me today if I was feeling well; apparently I look bloody depressed, although I don't really feel it. Mreh.
Something was supposed to happen today. I don't know exactly what it was, or if it happened. xD Still not "in the loop," I guess. Some things never change.
Maybe I am depressed. o.O Neh.
I think I meant to blog something amusing that happened today. I wish I could remember what it was. xD Damn. Oh well. Maybe it'll occur to me sometime this evening. Until then, I think I should like. . . clean my room. It's ridiculous right now.
. . . 'kay, bye.
. . . . . entries for 28.3.05 . . . . .
- and also: I do not think anyone will be able to camp out in the Sherman house for the purpose of going to Blast from the Past this weekend. Sorry Vera, Dan, Susan. xD Too busy. I do wish we could all party down; my mom suggested I do this some other weekend. Perhaps we can arrange an occasion?
I am ever more impressed at how little debate sucks when I am actually *doing* it; I just dislike the *thought* of doing it which bothers me so. o.O That being said, practice rounds this evening were good. I think Sohail was going easy on me. Pfft. Silly boy.
Aaand I have next to no homework. Yesss.
Today sucked less than I thought it would. Mrs. Hirota-Morris did not check the homework and Mrs. Black moved the due date back, so my slacking of prior days has not hurt me too much. Whee!
That being said, there has been much slacking. Too much slacking. o.O Debate meeting tonight, during which some crazy collegiate debate kids are going to review our cases for the tournament this Saturday. Ask me how much I care about the Nisky tournament. No, really. Ask me.
Blast from the Past is also this Saturday. Possible schemings for that later. Now. . . food. I have been curiously hungry lately.
. . . . . entries for 27.3.05 . . . . .
Yay, I'm a loser (and I do love procrastinating - thanks Kochiemonster).
The Basics ------------
Gaia Screen Name: Opalesce
Name: Erin
Age: 15
Birthdate: July 7, 1989
Family: Mom (Linda Joanne), Dad (James Alan), Sis (Katherine Anne)
Pets: Buddy the keeshond, Groucho the longhaired cat, Brucie Jr. and Sparkle Jr. the goldfish
# of Nicknames: o.O Uh, I dunno. Not too many - probably 5 or so.
Sign: Cancer (or, if you fancy the Chinese zodiac, the snake)
Right now -----------
What are you listening to? . . . xD I Want a Hippopatomus for Christmas. I rock you.
Who is around you? No one in the room, mom's across the hall and dad's downstairs.
What is on your mind (specifically)? How little I want to do my homework. -.-
What do you see? My computer screen, my desk (which is a total mess), and my barely-lit-at-all bedroom.
What are you doing (OTHER than this)? Fretting over homework, listening to weird music, fretting over homework some more.
What are your short term plans? Um. Maintain my beautiful GPA and otherwise make my college application pretty. Maybe remain sane, as well - that'd be great.
What are you long term plans? Go to college - Georgetown, if I'm lucky - grad school, probably, and, if things go as I'd like them to, marriage at the earliest possible date. (Yeah, yeah, I hadn't been sappy yet, shut up, no one is making you read this.)
How long have you been awake? Nine and a half hours, if you don't count my nap in the car, in which case it's like. . . a couple of hours.
What are you wearing? Angora-silk blend cardigan, Persian-ish patterened dress slacks, the necklace which Sir Charles gave me, and my silly patterned knee-highs.
What are you eating? Nothing presently.
Drinking? Again, nothing presently.
Friends --------
How many friends do you have? A few. o.O
Are the majority male or female? Female, I think, although it's a close balance.
How many do you consider 'best' friends? Um. . . three or four of them. Or more. I don't know.
Who (if any) do you trust implicitly? Cassie, Shannon, Tina, and maybe Sir Charles, although I often think I may live to regret it. xD (If you're not here, it doesn't mean I don't trust you; it said "implicitly," damn it.)
Who are you closest to? Charlie, Shannon, Natalie, Cassie, Susan, Veronica, and Colin.
Do you lie to friends? Don't think so, no.
Of your friends, who is/are:
-Funniest: Natalie and Charlie
Sweetest: Dan and Katelyn
Cutest: Katelyn and Shannon
Most Honest: Tina
Most Kind: Tasha
Most Trustworthy: Tina and Shannon
Best Listener: Damned if I know. o.O Dan, maybe, since he's the only one I ever vent to anymore. Maybe Max. . .
Most Open-Minded: Tina and Vera
Most Secretive: Myself (why yes, I am my own friend), and maybe Sir Charles.
The one(s) you'd like to know more: David, Kristen and Linda
The one(s) you think you know TOO well: It's impossible to know anyone too well. :P
Smartest: Sir Charles
Quirkiest: . . . you're not going to make me choose. -.-
The Sexes ----------
Do you think size matters to guys? Some of them, yeah.
To girls? Same as above.
What kind of smell do you like to wear? Mm, shalimar.
Why? It smells so good. xD
What kind do you like on the opposite sex? Curry. All boys should be dusted with curry daily.
Why? It is delicious.
What physical traits do you notice in the opposite sex? Body type, hair, skintone, facial features
What personality traits do you look for? Intelligence, wit and a decent moral code
What do you notice in the opposite sex first? Body type
What don't you like to see in the opposite sex? Um. I dunno. An unwarranted attraction to myself. -.-
What do you think the opposite sex notices/likes about your looks? I'm told I have very expressive eyes and a pretty smile - and I clean up nice. xD
Personality? I'm intelligent, honest and idealistic. And I like the cuddles.
What don't they like? Blatant honesty can set guys off sometimes, as can my cuddliness, if it's one of those guys - you know those guys? Yeah. Those guys.
Are men and women equal? Nope. Never will be.
Who should take the initiative? Men or Women? It totally varies. Whatever you're into. xD
Do guys like girls to ask them out? I dunno, some guys like it when the girl takes the initiative, if you know what I'm talking about. xD Rawr.
Do girls like guys to ask them out? If the guys aren't jerkoffs, sure.
Why? People like love. o.o
What sex act, if any, is a taboo to you? Ah. . . I dunno. In general terms, it's none of my business what other people do behind closed doors; I just wish they'd keep it BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. ::cough:: . . . and on a personal level, why the fuck do you want to know? Get lost!
Straight, gay, or bi? Straight. Mostly.
Sweetest thing that can be done for you? I do love a good serenade. (This being my way of saying, anything Charlie does is sweet to me. o.O Yaaay sappiness.)
Favorites ----------
Favorite Girl's Name? Mirabelle, feminized angelic names (Raphaela, Gabrielle)
Favorite Boy's Name? Charlie (shut up!), Raphael, Gabriel
Favorite of your nicknames? No one ever calls me by any of my nicknames anymore. xD
Favorite Song? Don't make me choose, you ass. -.-
Color? Chartreuse. xD
Era (like 60's, 70's, etc.)? Late 60's and 70's. . . I'm also way into the 1790's. Viva la revolution!
Medicine? Delsym. Delsym makes the world better.
Comic Character? The Endless, especially Despair.
Character? Gotta go with Sam Vimes - although most recently, Sydney Carton's been right up there. Martyr complexowned!
Holiday? Holidays mean nothing to me. How about Snowball, and whatever date the fall show at Seton happens to fall upon?
Solo Musician? Charlie Hyland. Wow. If I took this quiz single, how many answers would be totally different? xD (I'd probably have Nobuo Uematsu down here.)
Band? Elastica
Music Genre? Indie rock
Animal? Manta ray
Pet? Cats. Cats are nice.
Fantasy? . . . what the fuck? "Favorite fantasy?" Get your own, loser! xD
Kind of sex? Post-marital sex, you ass. -.-
Bodypart of the opposite sex? Ah, pretty much the waist up. Especially the neck, face, hair, hands. . .
Food? (Way to lack a segway between sex and food.) South Indian food rocks me.
Quote? "I doubt hell would be so bad if we got a circle to ourselves." ~Charlie
Belief? Hope is what keeps people going; he who gives hope deserves our eternal gratitude. (And others. I'll refrain from preaching on my blog. o.O)
Kind of movie? Romantic comedy. Preferrably in musical form. Preferrably involving Ewan McGregor. xD
Emotion? Freedom, affection, fulfillment
Relative? . . . dunno, my relatives are all as crazy as I am. xD
Action Movie? The Fifth Element
School Movie? Bill Nye. Ohyes.
Martial Arts Movie? You think I watch that stuff? xD
Comedy? I dunno, I don't like many "straight" comedies.
Drama? Moulin Rouge
Animated Movie? Dunno. Maybe Princess Mononoke.
Anime? Trigun
Horror? I despise horror movies.
'Teen' Movie? I double despise teen movies.
Romance/romantic comedy? Down With Love, Moulin Rouge
Yes or No ----------
Are you honest? Almost to the exclusion of logic and compassion, yes. xD
Are you single? Don't think so. xD
Are you happy? More or less.
Do you have a crush? Not as such.
Do you love anyone? Why yes.
Are you 'in love'? Yes. Yes I am.
You ever think about skydiving? Maybe a little.
Scuba diving? Used to.
Bunjee Jumping? xD Had to, after seeing my cousin do it.
Have you ever done any of them? Nope.
Been to a foreign country? Yeah, Canada and Ireland.
Live more than 3 places? No.
More than 6? Still no.
12? *No.*
If so, military? . . .
Do you like philosophy? Er, in the sense that I feel obligated as a member of the "intelligentsia" to study it and that it can depress the hell out of me but will ultimately make me a better person? . . . I *love* philosophy!
Have you or will you lie anywhere on this? Nope, but I have and will continue to refrain from answering awkward questions. xD
Do you think you're attractive? Sometimes. o.O Like I said earlier, I clean up nice.
Were you teased in Elementary School? A little.
High School? Yeah, a couple times. o.O I wish people would grow up.
Have you ever done drugs? Noo.
Pot? No.
Cocaine? No.
Crack? No.
Acid? No.
E? No.
Do you drink? Only when my parents ask me to, and try to convince me to do so. xD New Years', mostly.
Do you smoke (cigarettes)? Noooo.
Are you bias? Fuck yes. o.O Who isn't? I try not to be, though.
Did you dream last night? Yeah. I remember being unpleasantly surprised that I was in my cousin's bed when I woke up. . .
Do you have secrets from your parents? Uh, not important ones.
Are you a good kisser? No idea. I'm supposed to be, according to my zodiac sign. Hardy har har.
Have you been in more than 5 relationships? . . . no. xD
Do you want to be loved? If it's possible to want what you have, certainly. I'm spoiled by you people. xD
Are you loved? Yes. Quite loved. o.O
By family? Yeah.
By friends? Indeed.
By others? . . . others, as in those who are neither family nor friends? I hope not. o.o Freaks!
Do you trust easily? Disgustingly easily - although I'm getting slightly less stupid about it.
Do you lose trust easily? Very. o.O
Do you want to be alone? Used to. No more. Erin needs the peoples.
Do you miss grade school? Yeah, those were simpler times.
Were you a bully? Not very much.
Were you an outcast? Uh, kinda. xD
Were you part of the 'In' crowd? Occasionally.
Did you play sports? Yeah, actually. Soccer, mostly.
Do you now? Hell no.
Do you diet? No. I really should. o.O
Do you exercise? Not as much as I ought to, but yeah.
Do you suck (figuratively, ya sicko lol)? I *do* suck. -.-
Are you a player? . . . I dunno, guys, am I? xD
Are you the jealous type? I can be, but I'm aware that it's a pretty irrational feeling most of the time.
The Past ---------
What's your oldest memory? Around my third birthday; I remember what I got, and the ride to Maine, during which a rubber band was stuck in my hair. OW.
What kind of child were you? An outdoorsy, well-behaved, nerdy one.
What was your first pet? . . . not sure. *My* first pet was probably Groucho, my current cat, since all other pets mostly belonged to other family members or to the family as a whole.
What was your first school? Birchwood.
Who was your first teacher? Mrs. Pegarski. Or however the hell you spell it. xD
Did you parents (either of them) have a reglar nickname for you? Er-bear, or just "the bear."
What teacher had the greatest impact? Mrs. Van Alstyne. I wonder how she's doing.
What did you/do you hate about your youth? I dunno. If "youth" includes middle school, then I hated. . . me. -.- I sucked in middle school.
Where were you born? Albany Med.
What was your first kiss like? Pretty fucking amazing. If you want to hear the full story, ask me sometime. We love telling people. xD
What did you do when you were little that you'd prefer not known? o.O Not much.
Choices Choices ----------------
Photography or Painting? Photography, painting is a pain in my ass. xD
Singing or Dancing? Singing, but dancing's cool too.
Beer or Wine? Wine. Beer is icky.
Soda or Juice? o.O Can't I have water?
Meat or Veggies? Probably meat.
VHS or DVD? DVD, 'cause it sounds cool in German.
Tape or CD? CD, duh.
Summer or Winter? Summer. I have freckles in the summer.
Spring or Fall? Spring. I stop freezing in the spring. xD
Life or Death? Well, fuck, what a difficult question. -.- LIFE. Dumbass.
Kindness or Insanity? Give me both, damn you.
Company or Lonliness? Company, so long as it's good company.
Up or Down? Down, preferrably on something comfy.
Playing or Watching? Watching.
Give or Recieve? Both, simultaneously.
Work or Spoil? Work work work.
Love or Hate? Love. Duh.
Love or Lust? Love. Double duh.
Short or Long Essay (ACK! SCHOOL!) ------------------------------------
What do you want...
In a partner? What kind of partner? Charlie Hyland. 'nuff said.
In a relationship? Everything I have now minus 150 miles or so would be really sweet. xD
From life? A sense of fulfillment, and the knowledge that the world is better for my presence in it.
What's your worst memory? o.O Dunno. Whatever it was, I don't think about it much.
What's your best memory? Pick a gathering in Binghamton. Almost any one will do. xD Or maybe CTY *that* year. . .
If you dieing had something to say about your life, what do you think it would be? Don't forget what I've done here.
If you could change anything in your past, what would it be? Nothing.
If you could have ANY power, what would it be? Why? The power to supercede human selfishness would suit me nicely.
Susan asked for someone to define love for her on her blog. So, I first turn to a great source of knowledge: the Cynic's Dictionary. Under "love," there are eleven definitions.
"What conquers all things - except poverty and toothache." - Mae West
"What has become a four-lettered word." - Fritz Lang
"A dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species." - Somerset Maugham
"The extremely difficult realisation that something other than oneself is real." - Iris Murdoch
"Insanity with a collaborator." - Gene Perret
"A temporary insanity curable by marriage." - Ambrose Bierce
"The delusion that one woman differs from another." - H.L. Mencken
"Something like the measles - all the worse when it comes later in life." - Douglas Jerrold
"The selfishness of two persons." - La Salle
"What makes the world go round - but it's spinsters who oil the wheels." - Ellen Dorothy Abb
"The wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise." - H.L. Mencken
- also listed is one definition of "love affair:"
"A tableau of two wild animals, each with its teeth sunk in the other's neck, each scared to let go in case it bleeds to death." - Kenneth Tynan
On that note, there are also more widely-accepted definitions, such as exist on the all-knowing dictionary.com. Observe:
[love
n.
1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3.
1. Sexual passion.
2. Sexual intercourse.
3. A love affair.
4. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
5. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
6. An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
7.
1. A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
2. The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
8. Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.
9. often Love Christianity. Charity.
10. Sports. A zero score in tennis.
v. loved, lov·ing, loves
v. tr.
1. To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person): We love our parents. I love my friends.
2. To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person).
3. To have an intense emotional attachment to: loves his house.
4.
1. To embrace or caress.
2. To have sexual intercourse with.
5. To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming.
6. Theology. To have charity for.
7. To thrive on; need: The cactus loves hot, dry air.
v. intr.
To experience deep affection or intense desire for another.
Idioms:
for love
Out of compassion; with no thought for a reward: She volunteers at the hospital for love.
for love or money
Under any circumstances. Usually used in negative sentences: I would not do that for love or money.
for the love of
For the sake of; in consideration for: did it all for the love of praise.
in love
1. Deeply or passionately enamored: a young couple in love.
2. Highly or immoderately fond: in love with Japanese painting; in love with the sound of her own voice.
no love lost
No affection; animosity: There's no love lost between them. ]
And clearly the dictionary can tell us all we need to know about the meaning of a word - right? (Interestingly enough, there's a witty quip by Terry Pratchett on Dictionary.com about his love for computers, or lack thereof. Go look at it if you're suitably sick and twisted, and actually read this much in my blog. You shameless nerd, you.)
People also tend to have their own perceptions of words, however; this doesn't only happen with things as complex and difficult as love, but also with verbiage less profound. Regardless, I couldn't really define love if you asked me, in my own words. I think of it mostly as a desire to be close to a person and a deep concern for that person's well-being - two things which do not always go together, and which often supercede one another. Indeed, love often seems to be a battle between these two impulses, especially when the love is not returned. Often attached is an admiration of that individual's traits (and their flaws!), be they personal or physical.
That's just what my life has offered me, though. Take a moment to examine and rationalize love for yourself, if you want to. It's not worth it, in my opinion. Let love take you or fight it; defining it won't help you, and it's quite likely that, one way or another, love will win.
. . . . . entries for 26.3.05 . . . . .
I had a weird dream last night. (I almost never remember my dreams these days, so this is quite the event for me. :P) It was kind of a nightmare, I guess, but not scary enough to wake up from. I think it may foreshadow the seeing of the Ring 2 this evening with the male cousins - Ingrid the lovely is leaving with her Stanford crowd today, methinks.
That being said, I am going to Lexington. I will be in Lexington for the remainder of the weekend, besides a bit of Sunday evening. We're actually having Easter dinner *here* for once - weird. Woo.
And Charlie is going to Venice today. I hope you have fun, goofball. -.- You shall be missed.
. . . . . entries for 25.3.05 . . . . .
Hey kids, I just finally downloaded Firefox. xD The icon looks so very pretty on my dock.
It's Good Friday. (I like pointing out the obvious.) Good Friday is a very ironic name for Good Friday, in my opinion. I think every Christian on the face of the Earth should sink into existential depression on Good Friday. Jesus died for you today, kids. Today is not a good day; it is a day of sacrifice, of selflessness. We are all sinners on Good Friday, and the only good man died a couple millennia ago.
I hope you're good and depressed now.
. . . . . entries for 24.3.05 . . . . .
I love how Blogger can't keep posts in the right order. xD At least, it can't on my computer. Oh well. Who cares? There shall be sleep tonight. Sleeeep.
And last of all. . . I think this may be my favorite picture of Charlie and myself ever taken. xD Then again, it's a difficult choice to make. We're always so gorgeous, after all, my boy and myself. (Note: Narcissism promotes charisma.)
The innocent look set up by the first picture is swiftly dispelled by our evil and sexy expressions! Mwahaha.
And now, for the main point of that damn digital camera: prom. Again. Shut up, you, this is my blog, no one is making you read my nostalgic goings-on. xD We were so pretty.
Right, so now that I'm done with debate pictures, here is a sneak preview of my ensemble as it was at Sadies. I do not have Sadies pictures yet, sadly. xD I wonder if certain people have uploaded them from their digital cameras. . . not that certain people read my blog. Oh well.
Last but not least from Vassar, here is Alex decked out in the finest debate gear. This is why we love him, and why the Metrognome is the more-or-less official mascot of the Niskayuna debate team.
Debaters are sexy. Clearly. Here is the entire Vassar gang, minus Neal, in its silly glory. The gentleman that Alex debated a few minutes later (and narrowly lost to) took the picture. He was nice, and likewise silly. Yay.
The ladies posing by a very strange snowman. My hair looks shiny. o.O . . . Nikki looks lovely in my scarf.
More Alex. That kid is so adorable, it kind of hurts. xD
We have tons of pictures of Alex, the Metrognome, at Vassar. Here is one of them - rockin' one of many snow sculptures on the quad.
Nicole rockin' the lowlight in the cow pajamas. You go girl. Even Nicole goofed off at Vassar. xD
I got pictures today! Yay! I was at the mall with Natalie-love; fun was had by all. And leather. Leather was also had. . . at least by me.
I thought Ms. Burke would appreciate it if I posted this picture.
Erin has a new hobby, and that hobby's name is "recording herself saying random, vaguely witty and cute things for the purpose of sending to Erinaddicts in withdrawal (mostly Dan)." Exciting, eh?
I am so glad it's Thursday. -.- Sleep tonight, damn it. Also pictures from prom (yeah, prom, 'cause I take forever to develop pictures), the Vassar tournament, and other random stuff I take snapshots at. Yaaay. (We in Niskayuna are muchly envious of the kids in Binghamton who, due to their theoretical Catholicism, have the day off. Stuipid Catholics. Get off my lawn.)
. . . and drop more D&D jokes. Do it. DO IT. I'm serious, do it!
. . . . . entries for 23.3.05 . . . . .
I intensely dislike being sick. Maybe if I actually got enough sleep for a few nights in a row, I'd shake off this cold. o.O But. . . sleep? Sleep is bloody difficult to get around to.
I also think we should quit Gaia. Everyone. Forever. Because it is a terrible, terrible waste of time. o.o
. . . . . entries for 22.3.05 . . . . .
Erin doesn't like. . . people.
If you recognize that title, you get a cookie. -.-
Also: Erin specifically wishes people would a) listen and b) try to figure things the hell out for themselves. I don't really think I *need* to give people a play-by-play of my thoughts, and I'm really quite uncomfortable doing so. o.O
Now that I'm done with angry abstractions: nothing ever changes. I wonder why I bother blogging.
. . . . . entries for 21.3.05 . . . . .
Ah, yes. Minty hot cocoa makes me so happy. Good memories in minty cocoa. . .
My blogger profile thinks I have no blogs. Cute, eh?
Right, well, other than that, still mopey over not being in Binghamton. Who knew? -.- I am also kind of coldish, which is a shame - and by coldish I mean sick, not chilly. I am always chilly, although not as much anymore. Not sure why, although I guess I could blame being in a gym class that actually gets my blood pumping.
I actually have nothing to say. This blog does not exist. Wake up. The matrix has you.
. . . . . entries for 20.3.05 . . . . .
Wow, I love how I'm putting off my homework by tweaking my sidebar near-imperceptibly.
I spent a long time deliberating over which song to stick in my sidebar. Among the choices were Come What May, Hard to Explain, Into My Arms, and Changes Are No Good. I have weird tastes in music. o.O I settled for what you see now. It's always been a favorite of mine, since I was a very tiny creature.
Aside from my recent conversion to Islam. . . I am also back from Sadies. God damn it all.
It's Palm Sunday, and I woke up this morning with a Catholic family. Go figure. I went to mass, sat in the back of the choir loft with Veronica, didn't really participate, was creeped out by the chanting, got a little bit misty-eyed due to thinking too much, and walked away being all the more ashamed of my heathen-ness. Ugh. Church makes me uncomfortable and, at the same time, makes me angry AND. . . in spite of myself, there is *something* there. Not as much as I gather there is for some people, but something.
Right, so, other than mass, this morning was a mopey and slow one in awakening. Megh's shower is adorably designed for the chronically short. xD
(Yeah, I'm going chronologically backwards. I'd better stop that. :P)
Arriving in Binghamton went smoothly, as did dinner, kind of - we all went to a Chinese place, since the wait at Applebee's was ridiculous. Good times. Charlie was confused, though. xD Poor kid sitting in the middle of a long table.
The dance itself was just goddamn amazing. Great company, decent music, and later some *wonderful* music from the lips of Sir Charles. Peace was made with Charlie's other date, love was given to Dan and Veronica, Ricky was pissed off, and overall little progress was made. What the fuck. -.- No rest for the wicked, I suppose. Also: Mikey's date was gorgeous and sweet and they are cuter than Charlie and myself. WHAT THE FUCK. o.o. . .
Kate's was good. Much cuddling. Charlie enjoyed the terribleness that is Napoleon Dynamite.
Leaving Kate's and going back to Megh's sucks more than I think many people can imagine. I missed Charlie as soon as we drove away from his house, if not before then, if not while he was still there next to me. I am a pathetic, lovesick little girl. And I want to curl up in a carry-on bag and go to Venice over Easter break. Uggy buggy.
 | You scored as Islam. Your beliefs are most similar to those of Islam. Do more research on Islam and possibly consider taking the shahadah and officially becoming a Muslim, if you aren't already. Despite the actions of some - who go against the teachings of Islam - Islam is a religion of peace; the word "islam" means "peace through submission to God." "Muslim" means "one who submits to God." Islam is the third of the three Abrahamic faiths, and it shares much with Judaism in Christianity; its differences are the acceptance of Muhammad as the last and final prophet, and the oneness of God - in other words, that Jesus, though he was a revered prophet, was not in fact God, and only one God exists. Apparently the Taliban could not read (though their name means "students"), because the Qur'an states that men and women are equal as believers, and that all believers should be educated and seek knowledge. Modesty in dress and behavior is required in Islam for both men and women to preserve the values of society and move the emphasis from superificial appearance to intelligence, knowledge, and God.
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com |
. . . ::dies laughing:: Awesome. Freakin' awesome.
. . . . . entries for 18.3.05 . . . . .
Ahaha. Everything is working, precious. Everything is running more-or-less smoothly. Huzzah.
The Internet is an amazing place, it really is; so is the world in which it exists. o.O Vera is blogging (LJing?) about why right now.
. . . . . entries for 17.3.05 . . . . .
Happy Saint Patrick's Day, by the by. I just saw Hitch with my mom. Very cute, as was expected.
Okay, so I just held a brief consultation with my parents. Veronica: Sadies is a go if everything is okay on your end. We'd do the meeting halfway thing again. I hope to talk to you later tonight, but in case I can't, I hope you read this. Gaaaah. I miss you guys. (Funny, I had myself all mentally prepared to not go, too. My dad kind of made my mom concede to drive me halfway down one way. Ha. Ha. Ha. I love my dad.)
I also have a dungeon this weekend. If I go to Sadies, I will be late (or maybe not go at all; I know Colindearest hates for me to leave things up in the air, but I just don't know myself, so. . . yeah); if I do not, I will arrive early (on the order of an hour or so) and harass my lovely DM. Huzzah.
I have a math quiz tomorrow. Imagine my unending joy.
So. . . sleep. Sleep could be nice.
So maybe I'll sleep tonight. Yeah. That'd be cool.
. . . . . entries for 16.3.05 . . . . .
I am very, very tired. I have been alternately reading A Tale of Two Cities and sleeping ever since I got home from my completely useless meeting with Adam to do the science project which, as it turns out, I'm pretty much going to have to do in its entirety. Clearly I need a day off. Clearly I cannot take a day off because, if I were to do so, I would get even further behind.
Someone shoot me.
Whoa. Tina's blogging again. How insane is that? o.O She has been linked accordingly. Drop by her blog, you know you want to.
Mommy has OT on Saturday, so Sadies is not looking so good. Uggy buggy.
. . . . . entries for 15.3.05 . . . . .
I like cheering people up by being strange. Case in point: a conversation with Elle, in which she was distressed.
Elle: AND WHY THE FUCK DO I SMELL LIKE VANILLA! SDLKSDFGLJ!
Moi: xD
Elle: XD I'm just a little stressed. It's a bad thing. Because Jeff always smells like vanilla (not strongly, I just notice these things). And now I smell like Jeff. And I don't want to. It's the ring! XD The ring smells like Jeff which smells like vanilla!
Moi: xD
Elle: XD At least I've figured out where the hell the scent is coming from.
Moi: does his very house smell of vanilla or something?
Elle: I have no fucking clue. The ring just smells like vanilla.
Moi: xD maybe it is the SOURCE. of the VANILLA. and he is trying to pass it off to you. xD
Elle: o.o
Moi: ::dies laughing::
Elle: You're turning this into a terrible horror movie, Erin. Stop it.
Moi: xD sorry.
Elle: XD *saves this conversation* You, blog it, damnitall.
So like, I did. xD Good times.
. . . . . entries for 14.3.05 . . . . .
Disclaimer: The songs in my tagboard do not always refer to me personally. >.>
Edit: And by tagboard, I mean sidebar. I'm sleep-deprived.
We do strange things for those we love. o.O
We also do homework for teachers who grade us, curse and blast them. Raaarrgh.
. . . . . entries for 13.3.05 . . . . .
I have an obsession with the song now in my tagboard. Yay.
I may have to visit Cassie just so I can snuggle with her cats on these oh-so-comfy couches.
Who besides Charlie and me wants Cassie's apartment?
We like Cassie when she is silly. xD Go Cas!
Aaaand Cas is still hotter than me.
Well, I'm feeling a little better. Still sick, but the magical stuff that is Delsym is helping me somewhat, as is FFVIII (which, as we all know, is super-magical). At least I'm not so tired I'm falling apart at the seams anymore. Yaaay.
I also have some fun pictures of Cassie in her new living quarters. I think I will post one to beautify my blog.
. . . . . entries for 12.3.05 . . . . .
It's the little Ms. Sherman with Mr. Sherman. Aww. (We're sitting in front of Lake George. I thought it was spring, 'cause it was 40 degrees out - hence the leather and rolled up jeans. Silly me.)
. . . . . entries for 11.3.05 . . . . .
I am finally home. I am very tired. I really have not been this tired in. . . forever. Really. So I'm blogging mostly to let people know that I'm alive, just about half dead. I will be sleeping a lot this weekend. And maybe dice shopping. Christ, I'm a nerd. Oh well.
. . . . . entries for 10.3.05 . . . . .
Tryouts went fairly well. It was fun, which is the important bit - and I don't think I died on stage, either. xD I think Colin owned Elwood hands down, but hell, I could be wrong. :P Stranger things have happened.
The rest of my day also happened and was unremarkable. What else is new?
G'hey, I'm trying out for Harvey today. (Why yes, it is 6:30 in the morning, thanks for noticing.) xD I looked over a couple of parts which look. . . um. . . interesting. . . to me. . . last night. The play seems quite weird, but that's how we like it here. We are the lovably quirky! Mwahaha!
So which will fit me better: the young, pretty nurse infatuated with the similarly young and pretty doctor, or the well-dressed elderly aunt who is inordinately interested in the chap who sees a giant rabbit? (I'm leaning toward the latter, just 'cause. . . well, damn, it'd be so fun to play if I could actually make myself *play* it. I'm also certain a lot of charming belladonnas will be trying out for the role o the nurse.)
. . . . . entries for 9.3.05 . . . . .
Things are so weird right now. I don't particularly want to explain the weirdness, either. o.O . . . if you're involved with it, hopefully you know by now how and why things are weird, and you know why I'm freaking out, and. . . yeah.
Point is: Erin is freaking out, because people are weird and rather unfamiliar to me. So I'm sorry if I seem a little bit off right now. I'll probably have some more specific apologies to make to people later, but I'll make them to the people, and not over the goddamn Internet(s). -.-
Another point is: I love you guys. (Except Matt. Bastard. He won't even give me a hug. -.-) I love you guys because you don't get mad for weird reasons. I can talk to you about anything, and I'll listen to whatever you say. We help each other. We're friends to one another. I don't even know how to say how grateful I am for my friendship with every single one of you. Thank you for being there. I will always be there for you.
On a similar note: (I know you're sick of my goddamn points. Deal with it. No one is making you read this.) I love my parents. They're pretty weird. Most of you honestly have no clue how odd my family is. But I love them because they, too, are friends to me, and supportive of me, and they try to guide me along without hurting me. I know they don't read this, but for my own sake, I have to say it. Thanks, mom and dad.
I feel like I'm giving a fucking Oscar speech. -.- Anyway. Sir Charles: I don't think I have to say much to you. You know a hell of a lot about me, about my intentions on this world, about my beliefs. Thanks for being there. Thanks for letting me gush on you - girl-guts are sticky and gross, but they need to overflow sometimes. Thanks for letting me be so damn in love with you, and hell, thanks for loving me back. Even if the rest of my life is martyr complex'd all to hell, I will have you. That's all I could ever ask for. I love you.
Finally: Cassie, you have nothing to do with this present issue of mine, but I can't leave you out. I miss you. I owe me - my personality, who I have become - to you. I wish I could make your boy-related troubles less. . . troublesome. I wish I could do as much for you as you have done for me. I love you more. I'll try my damnedest to be around the weekend after your birthday. (More, damn it. MORE.)
. . . right, I'm going to go cry in my pillow now. (I'm not kidding, but don't flip out on me. Don't bombard me with concerned IMs. They're happy tears, of a sort. All of a sort.)
. . . . . entries for 8.3.05 . . . . .
Lest I forget them, here are words. Depending on how well you know me, you might know how much they mean to me. Regardless; they're here mostly for my own purposes. Hey, it's my blog, bitch. -.-
This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into hell
For a heavenly cause. . .
. . . oh my frickin' god, I want to live in the Burke house. xD I was just on the phone with Greg, Natalie and Jen (what's the point in referring to her as an adult, anyway?) all at once. In the course of the conversation, they asked me to pass the pork, told me the story of the conception of the twins (I kid you not) and teased me about Charlie in an amazingly terrible way. That was Jen, though. She said, "hey Erin, ever had a charliehorse?" and they all proceeded to carry it out into one horrible joke about Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy; Greg proposed I bypass the cowboy bit and skip right to a Charlie. O madness, o mayhem, o Burkes. I cannot capture your wonder in this blog.
I love you, Burke family. Take me with you! T_T
In other news: people kind of freak me out. o.O. . .
My iPod, possibly in reaction to my blog about it the other day, had an attitude problem today. I had to hard restart it - le gasp! Hopefully it will not make a habit of this.
So, right. There are events afoot these coming weekends. I do not know what all of them are, or when all of them are. o.O If you are involved with some event or other, please tell me so I can attend it. So far I am aware that Colin's birthday dungeon is this Friday, that the improbable Sadies is sometime within the next few weeks, that the tsunami relief talent show is a week from this Friday, and that Cas wants me to swing by D.C. the weekend after her birthday. Am I forgetting something? o.- . . . besides to sleep, I mean.
It is snowing. A lot. I am not terribly fond of snow, as you are probably well aware. Every time there is hope of the stuff being gone, we have another snowstorm. The great weatherman in the sky is purposefully and maliciously irritating me, I swear it.
Not a lot to do this evening. I shall nap, play FFVIII, loiter online, or all three (simultaneously, even).
And lastly, to those who deserve what they desire: Sorry for going on about Sir Charles so much. I need a hobby besides being in withdrawal.
. . . . . entries for 7.3.05 . . . . .
One more college list: These are the ones which have e-mailed me, followed by the number of emails I have from them in my AOL inbox right now.
Washington and Lee University (x3)
Rice University (x3)
Williams College (x5)
Drew University (x5)
William and Mary (x5)
Tulane University (x4)
Goucher College (x5)
Grinnell College (x5)
University of Miami (x5)
Caltech (x5)
Lafayette College (x4)
University of Central Florida (x4)
Northeastern University (x5)
Drexel University (x6)
Colorado College (x1)
Brown University (x5)
Bryn Mawr (x5)
Duke University (x4)
University of Delaware (x4)
Quinnipiac University (x3)
Columbia University (x2)
MIT (x3)
College of St. Rose (x4)
Swarthmore College (x4)
Washington University (x4)
Siena College (x4)
Emory University (x4)
Oberlin College (x1)
Lehigh University (x1)
New York University (x2)
University of Richmond (x3)
John's Hopkins University (x1)
Colby College (x1)
Amherst College (x1)
Hamilton College (x1)
Was just talking colleges with my mom. I figured I'd do the nerdy thing and post the colleges I'm considering going to at this point, in approximate order of interest (well sort of):
Georgetown
St. John's College (Annapolis)
Sara Lawrence
Chicago U
Geneseo
Pacific U
Reed
George Washington U
American U
Harvard (because I figure it's good to laugh at yourself sometimes)
And now I shall explain myself. Harvard is, as I said, up there because I have a sense of humor about myself. Kind of. I'm going to make lists again, 'cause. . . paragraphs are hard. xP So, because I want. . .
To take over the world: Georgetown, Geneseo, GWU, AU
To save the world: Georgetown, Sara Lawrence, Pacific U
To live around D.C.: Georgetown, St. John's, GWU, AU
A challenge: St. John's, Sara Lawrence, Reed
A classical education: St. John's, Chicago U
To get my mom to stop bugging me about colleges: Sara Lawrence, Geneseo
My majors/minors floating around include the definite variable of poli sci, a probable variable of philsophy, and possible variables of public policy, theology, and world history (yes, damn it, I am a world history nerd and it is ALL HIROTA-MORRIS'S FAULT). All of these will hopefully assist me in my efforts to conquer/save the world (whichever comes first). Of course, if I went to St. John's, I wouldn't get to choose my own courses; I'd just take some absurd double major/double minor courseload consisting of the classics, no textbooks, just the primary sources (including science-y and math-y ones, which wouldn't happen so much at the other schools). No matter what, I'll be going to grad school like a good little world dominator.
Someday, I might talk about college on my blog as much as Nicole does on hers. xD
. . . . . entries for 6.3.05 . . . . .
Haha, I'm stealing Charlie's thunder and I'm not sorry. xD
I am told that Charlie is posting on prom. . . finally. o.O . . .
"If you want someone a friend to be,
Guess you'll have to win the lottery,
But until then, repeat after me:
I don't want somebody to love me,
Just give me sex whenever I want it;
'Cause all I ask for is instant pleasure. . ." ~Rufus Wainwright
Lo and behold: I have won the lottery. It's too bad my impossibly amazing prize is so far away.
I write this as I wait for the elimination rounds at Vassar to end. When I get home, it will be transmuted from my illegible cursive to a clean, standardized font on my blog. Maybe.
My iPod has been messing with me, as you may have gathered. I think my playlist went so: Already There, Lullaby (Goodnight My Angel), Never Be the Sun, and lastly, Instant Pleasure. This last one reminds me of the book 1984 in that it is the antithesis of what I want and what I believe.
And damn, it all reminded me of how much I would love to turn back the clock seven or eight days. People, places, music. . . so much has reminded me of where I am not. Yes, I am nostalgic as all hell. Ugh, I say. I would rather be in Binghamton.
(Edit: Here lies one of many sentiments connected with the Vassar tournament. Among these are also amusement, lack of circulation in the extremeties, hopelessness, interest, and a feeling that politics may or may not be the death of me.)
. . . . . entries for 3.3.05 . . . . .
Resolved: In order to best preserve civil liberties, community standards ought to take precedence over conflicting national standards.
Erin's first debate on this resolution is at Vassar, her first college tournament. -.- This is *nonsense.* Nonsense, I tell you. Ugh.
The dynamic of the Sherman household is *so* damn weird.
That being said, I do not think I can adequately describe the conversations of the past few hours here. I might actually write - like, on paper, whoa - about them. Suffice it to say that I connect to my dad much better when he is very, very tired.
I have a hell of a lot to do, and I don't want to do it. The tears are still drying on my cheeks.
. . . . . entries for 2.3.05 . . . . .
Just in case you hadn't seen it already. xD
I don't think I can do this. xD I am so not hardcore. I shall list bands which I *failed* to do this with.
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds (too morbid, eep.)
Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles: Nobuo Uematsu (yeah, he's not a band, shut up. xD)
1. Are you male or female? Mog (*yes,* damn it. xD)
2. Describe yourself: One Winged Angel
3. How do some people feel about you? Unrequited Love
4. How do you feel about yourself? Lunatic Pandora
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Eyes on Me
6. Where would you rather be? Home, Sweet Home
7. Describe what you want to be: Man with a Machine Gun
8. Describe how you live: Behind the Door
9. Describe how you love: Otherworld
10. Share a few words of wisdom: Run!!
Oh, I so totally did it. xD I'm a loser for using Final Fantasy tunes, but I STILL DID IT. Rar. (Maybe I should try using a more mainstream artist? xD)
Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles: Billy Joel
1. Are you male or female? Always a Woman
2. Describe yourself: I Go To Extremes
3. How do some people feel about you? She's Got A Way
4. How do you feel about yourself? Leave Me Alone
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Entertainer
6. Where would you rather be? New York State of Mind
7. Describe what you want to be: The Way You Are
8. Describe how you live: Don't Ask Me Why
9. Describe how you love: You're My Home
10. Share a few words of wisdom: Leave a Tender Moment Alone
Heartbreaking. Heartbreaking, I tell you.
. . . . . entries for 1.3.05 . . . . .
Dan, knock it off! xD Silly pictures, I tell myself, should offset the other one.
That apron made me giggle.
Why yes, we do have a snow day today. That is why I am up and blogging at six in the morning. I will not make a habit of this. xD I don't think anyone in this district particularly *needs* a snow day, and yet we have one. Ah well.
. . . why the hell am I not going back to sleep? o.O See you all later.
come home?
.:people:.
{ting}
she looks like the real thing
{mari}
out and about
[kelsey]
THIS IS AMERICA
{yianni}
stop being depressed
{alisa}
other
[shannon]
close and far
{frank}
islands where no islands should go
[cassie]
eating knowledge
{colin}
my dm
[emily]
shoulder to the wheel
[brian]
nostalgic for fantasy
[nicole]
industry insider
{elle}
angry enviro
[matt]
never heard of miyazaki
[pirate dan]
are you reading this?
[olga]
distracted
[messiah dan]
messiah/believer
{max}
approach focus
[natalie]
wait a minute
[susan]
solitude
{greg}
manbeargreg
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.:skin:.
turtles! turtles! by araglas
(heavily modified by yours truly)