. . . . . entries for 17.7.11 . . . . .
Harry Potter really has had an amazing effect on the world - especially on my generation. I don't exactly understand why, but still - it's something to behold. I saw someone post on tumblr that, as a Christian kid in Bible school, they'd learned less about morality and good and evil than they had from the Harry Potter books.
I just saw the last movie last night, and all the little moments strung together - that's really what the last movie is, after all, just moments - arrived at a somewhat unexpected thought for me. All of the bravery, all of the friendship, all of the childish brave awesome refusal to give up or be selfish made me think of the greatest wound lately dealt to my moral ego: this.
I didn't even read the article. I just saw the headline, and the headline made me . . . I don't know what. "Light green," it says. The opposite of deep green. "Good enough." "Next best." "Feasible." Cop-out. Sell-out. Single action bias. The primrose path. Hypocrisy. False hope. Entitlement. Evil, possible not thanks to the evil, but to the good who do nothing - or not enough.
Harry Potter made me think about whether I am doing the right thing with my life. It made me start thinking about something painful again because seeing all of those characters do what was right - seeing Harry prepare himself to die, most of all, always that most of all - made me unwilling to just accept what I'm doing with my own life. That is an incredible accomplishment for a story.
But light green, pale green - too little, too slow, all wrong, a red herring, a trap. I'm not sure what to do with it. I'm not sure whom to talk to about it. I'm not sure but it might start with advice Bracken gave me, which is not to give up on something just because it's an imperfect solution. That isn't to say that riding imperfection's wave is all right - it's to say that, now, it's time to steer it toward perfection. Seize it with hope and ferocity and make it do what it swore it would do. Believe in it and be intensely skeptical of it, at the same time, all the time; vet it, ruin it, reinvent it, save it.
Can I do that for them? Will they understand if I try? I don't know, but I'm just an intern anyway, and if they haven't decided yet whether I'm disposable, then why shouldn't I give them the best kind of hell?
. . . . . entries for 9.7.11 . . . . .
I do not blog enough. I will have to find a way to rectify this.
I think blogging time has been uprooted by reading, tumbling, and linkedining. I still don't really "get" tumblr though. It's a nice place to post non-verbal things, or quotes, still.
. . . . . entries for 6.7.11 . . . . .
Sometimes I look at these just because I am so full of missing.
Dear blog: I miss things. I miss, for example, my sister's well-decorated apartment and feline buzzsaw and pitchers of iced mint tea, and my sister. I miss my boy. I miss college with its delicious awful food constantly within walking distance and caffeine and MSG and procrastination and mad, eleventh-hour attempts at doing what I was ostensibly doing all along.
come home?
.:people:.
{ting}
she looks like the real thing
{mari}
out and about
[kelsey]
THIS IS AMERICA
{yianni}
stop being depressed
{alisa}
other
[shannon]
close and far
{frank}
islands where no islands should go
[cassie]
eating knowledge
{colin}
my dm
[emily]
shoulder to the wheel
[brian]
nostalgic for fantasy
[nicole]
industry insider
{elle}
angry enviro
[matt]
never heard of miyazaki
[pirate dan]
are you reading this?
[olga]
distracted
[messiah dan]
messiah/believer
{max}
approach focus
[natalie]
wait a minute
[susan]
solitude
{greg}
manbeargreg
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.:skin:.
turtles! turtles! by araglas
(heavily modified by yours truly)