. . . . . entries for 26.3.11 . . . . .
I feel quite poorly configured for everything that needs doing - mostly my thesis and also the Rest of My Life that will follow when it, and here, are over. I must have blogged that before but I'm just saying, it is most of what I think about.
Especially because it looks like all this data I've collected hasn't really amounted to anything interesting. If there were something interesting, I feel like it could've lit a little fire under me to get moving. But . . . hrgl. I sleep too much. I think trivial thoughts. I think heavy thoughts. I can hardly ever bring myself to bear on those middle-of-the-road pragmatic thoughts that I need to think very very badly. I hate the sound of what I'm writing - truly, I hate it, and if it were on paper I would crush it and tear it.
I always wanted to be one of the people in control of the situation, and by "the situation" I mean the best and worst and always biggest things in the world that need worrying about. I didn't want to be someone who was just doing her job, just following orders, just watching as whatever happened happened. But I don't know how to handle myself in any kind of arena at all.
come home?
.:people:.
{ting}
she looks like the real thing
{mari}
out and about
[kelsey]
THIS IS AMERICA
{yianni}
stop being depressed
{alisa}
other
[shannon]
close and far
{frank}
islands where no islands should go
[cassie]
eating knowledge
{colin}
my dm
[emily]
shoulder to the wheel
[brian]
nostalgic for fantasy
[nicole]
industry insider
{elle}
angry enviro
[matt]
never heard of miyazaki
[pirate dan]
are you reading this?
[olga]
distracted
[messiah dan]
messiah/believer
{max}
approach focus
[natalie]
wait a minute
[susan]
solitude
{greg}
manbeargreg
.:past:.
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.:skin:.
turtles! turtles! by araglas
(heavily modified by yours truly)