. . . . . entries for 2.7.09 . . . . .
The world is very disorderly. Not that it needs ordering - not that it can be ordered, in any sense of the word - but my goodness, in my adorable still-19 naivete, I forget and forget again every time. We have next to no control over our environment, even ourselves, and no real way of knowing when the moment of our greatness flickers - not out of, but into focus. Because there are moments, opportunities, for people to surge through the complexity that foils easy cause and effect, to be the cause, to have an effect.
Ah, but that is not what I meant, starting this. Not completely. That's disorder for you.
I think the other part of what I meant is something like this: in such a world, any action with an intent, any gesture with a will to gravity or feeling, comes with a leap of faith. Faith that this time, you will be let through. That, this time, the one who acts as a believer will become a believer - as if that belief could, forever after, shrug complexity and chaos off its shoulders and yours.
Maybe it can, for some folks. I don't think that's the way I work, but it's not as though I know how I work, anyway. I wish I did. I'd hack into my own superstructure and create the thing to catch me as I fall, such a fabulous easter egg that it would be there regardless of whether it could fit, whether there were someplace for it to go next or not.
come home?
.:people:.
{ting}
she looks like the real thing
{mari}
out and about
[kelsey]
THIS IS AMERICA
{yianni}
stop being depressed
{alisa}
other
[shannon]
close and far
{frank}
islands where no islands should go
[cassie]
eating knowledge
{colin}
my dm
[emily]
shoulder to the wheel
[brian]
nostalgic for fantasy
[nicole]
industry insider
{elle}
angry enviro
[matt]
never heard of miyazaki
[pirate dan]
are you reading this?
[olga]
distracted
[messiah dan]
messiah/believer
{max}
approach focus
[natalie]
wait a minute
[susan]
solitude
{greg}
manbeargreg
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.:skin:.
turtles! turtles! by araglas
(heavily modified by yours truly)