. . . . . entries for 6.7.09 . . . . .
Oh my, I miss my family, and "my people" in general. Their dysfunction is something I largely know how to deal with, something that seems so rich and genuine and familiar to me.
If you can't invent terrible, laughing-cursing epithets to cry out whenever someone wrongs you in a board game - if the point of the game is to win, rather than to bond and harangue and . . . well, okay, I was going to end this (humorously?) with "then what is the point?" - but that would be unfair. I was there. Maybe it feels different, usually. It'd feel different if some outsider were dropped into a family Uno game, amongst us.
And I know I'm being nostalgic, too, for something that never was, only happened rarely, and/or can't ever be again.
I wonder if it will ever happen that I will settle down again, be in a place long enough to feel that those I know and spend time with are my people, people I can completely relax around, cease to judge, laugh and collapse into cuddle puddles with. To say nothing of actually being with the one - and ones - I love most.
Aren't I young, to be talking in such a way? As though I want some steady government job to support my habit of love and lethargy. But I want the love and lethargy, at least. It'll be such a long time.
I am also quite young to be so jaded, now, about people. This seems, even to me, like a bit of a nonsequitor, but I suppose I just worry that I'll be so convinced of the rottenness or dishonesty or self-interested way of Man by the time any "settling down" happens that it'll be too late. But maybe that is the sort of thing one gets less convinced of, further out of one's adolescence.
I don't know. Let us begin - or continue, whatever - with a leap.
I think that someone of your depth of thought, at the very least, is more than entitled to feel tired every now and then.
-chucks the age limitations on thought out the window-
-alisapod
: July 12, 2009 10:04 AMcome home?
.:people:.
{ting}
she looks like the real thing
{mari}
out and about
[kelsey]
THIS IS AMERICA
{yianni}
stop being depressed
{alisa}
other
[shannon]
close and far
{frank}
islands where no islands should go
[cassie]
eating knowledge
{colin}
my dm
[emily]
shoulder to the wheel
[brian]
nostalgic for fantasy
[nicole]
industry insider
{elle}
angry enviro
[matt]
never heard of miyazaki
[pirate dan]
are you reading this?
[olga]
distracted
[messiah dan]
messiah/believer
{max}
approach focus
[natalie]
wait a minute
[susan]
solitude
{greg}
manbeargreg
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.:skin:.
turtles! turtles! by araglas
(heavily modified by yours truly)