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. . . . . entries for 29.1.07 . . . . .
It frustrates me that people in general are so eager to win. They'll tell themselves they aren't; they'll tell themselves they have the best interests of others at heart. Some believe it, I imagine. I do, most of the time.
But Jesus, people do this thing - they change their tack, after fighting for so long out of a corner, unwilling to change. They suddenly pretend as if they don't care, as if their aim wasn't to win, as if they could ignore how plainly and overtly they lately strove to win you over or crush you underfoot. It's moronic, and sickening, and predictable, and I am very inarticulate because I am very, very tired.
I also realized today that a lot of my personality springs from a strangely twisted root: instead of seeking the "what" or the "why" of things, I seek the "from whence." It seems as if the other W's fall after it like scared comrades at a Stalin convention.
[] . . . ees @ 3:19:00 PM
come home?
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