I like the last one. But way to be serious. :P

Mine so far is, "Oh no--I broke my grad. project."
 

I'm bad at funny. :P
 

I have a few from Erma Bombeck:

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."

"I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up."

"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."

"When humor goes, there goes civilization."

And, my personal favorite:

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me"."

And a few from Douglas Adams that I am considering:

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." (Yes, that IS the opening line of Hitchiker's Guide!)

"One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed."

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

And, my personal favorite of that set:

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
 

You're full of ideas, aren't you? xD
 

"Avoid prettiness, the word looks much like pettiness, and there's not much difference between them." -Peter Henry Emerson

My FAAAAVORITE.
 

That is really very special. xD